Does Floyd Landis play kickball too?

For those unaware, he is the latest cheater in sports to be disgraced. I guess living in Lance Armstrong's shadow was too much for Landis so he decided to juice up to win the Tour de France. First he said he had elevated testosterone due to drinking whiskey (how kickball of him!), then it was dehyrdation's fault, and now someone has tampered with his sample and that's the real reason he has levels of the hormone that are 11 times the normal amount. The other excuses, he says, were not his. His lawyer made him say those. Now, as with everything, to relate this to kickball.

While scouring Kickball365 I came across a post that was intriguing because it mentioned a team cheating in - of all things - kickball! So I contacted the poster and was sent two interesting emails I thought I'd share here. First, the background: Apparently the guy who's team cheated was the President of the Wal-Mart of Kickball's (WAKA) Monument Division (this took place last year). Someone posted it on their message board, and things became a big deal from there. Also, one of the FOUNDERS of WMoKB played in the division. The guy's team was going to join Monument and sent this email after hearing about the cheating: (I have left all names out)

After reading through your division message board I am concerned. Your team cheated, and you know this - whether other teams agreed you could or not. You purposely did not tell HH because you knew they would object, and that is wrong as well. I understand that and that you apologize. The most disturbing part is that you say that you will do it in the future. Is this true? Will you cheat next season? If you tell me that you won't I will believe you, but will still have the entire roster of your team checked if my team plays yours. If you tell me you will cheat, then I have to ask my teammates how they feel about that. I don't like it.

Not only did you cheat the WAKA rules (and thereby would have been disqualified from Regionals), but you lied through omission to HH, and you cheated everyone that forked over $60 by letting someone play that had never paid. I don't want BS here. If you need to cheat tell me now and we will deal with it in my team. If not, ok. I think with what our team could bring to Monument in terms of fun, experience, and enthusiasm could make the season great - but I want it to be fair. I have cc'd my captains on this.

Here is the response:

calm down. i have got enough crap over this already. i dont know you and you are not part of this division yet, so please dont lecture me. if you honestly think this is the first time a team has pulled in an ineligible player so they wouldnt have to forfeit you are mistaken. i know many teams that have done it over the last 2 seasons, everyone is just making a big deal over this b/c it was me that did it this time and we happened to make a run in the tournament. besides, it wasnt like i picked up freddie adu, my sub was a girl who was sitting on picnic blanket in sandals who was there to watch us and had never played the game before. i had 3 no shows who didnt bother calling to say they had changed their mind about coming so this was premeditated either. we just wanted to play, we didnt expect to win. we had won 1 game all season and no one, not even us thought we would make the finals. even with the sub, we only had 10 fielders. i know that i should have let the first team we beat move on, even though they knew about it, but i made a mistake and didnt.as for the future, if you want to take the time to print out my team's roster, card us and check our dental records, be my guest. i may have done the wrong thing here, but i am not a criminal and at least i didnt send someone who i have never met and dont know anything about a 2 paragraph e-mail chastising him over something that happened at an event i wasnt even at.

The WMoKB rep said she would take care of it and nothing actually happened (according to the guy).

A couple of things stand out here. I guess if you cheat but others have before, it's ok. I guess if you cheat with someone other than Freddie Adu that's ok too. I guess if you weren't at an event, you cannot talk about it. At least in the Monument Division. I wonder if this does go on all throughout kickball, I'd like to think it doesn't. Maybe it's because the competition level is being ratcheted up to the nth degree among some of the teams. But I doubt it.

Smithers reports from the Left Coast that things in the WMoKB have gotten so competitive that he had to quit! He was a transplant from this area and said that out there no one really drinks (at least in his division) and they had ref clinics every week because someone was always complaining about the refs or the rules or something. Well, rumor has it they are hosting the fall playoffs so I guess that's fitting.

I am going to believe though, that the Floyd Landis and Monument Division types are in the minority. Not just because it makes me feel better but because if they are the majority, then what's the point of playing sports unless you're going to cheat? And what fun is that?