A message from your Uncle Sam

It must be a slow news day in Knoxville. Maybe crotchety baby boomers have forgotten to take their (fill in prescription happy pills). Either that or there is nothing more pressing to write about in some people's view than dodgeball, tiddlywinks, and - you guessed it - kickball. Not just to write about them but of course to use the tried and true method of once again stomping on anything Gen Xers do.

I speak of a column by Sam Venable in the Oct 26 edition of the Knoxville News Sentinel. I won't reprint the whole column here but there are a few pieces of it I'd like to discuss. To put it nicely. It seems Mr. Baby Boomer has no problem with the above mentioned games - as long as it's played like I guess he remembers it from 1966 in some cow pasture. As he writes:

Grownups aren't content to merely play games any more. They've got to "adulterate" everything. And in so doing, they complicate and commercialize the innocent joys of simple fun.

Only in baby boomer America could the pleasures of youth be reclaimed and reclassified by adults.

No longer do you and the fellows gather over at Doc Snyder's pasture and choose sides for a pickup game with mismatched equipment. Instead, it's time for the bureaucracy to begin.

In case you've missed this recreational revolution, you may be surprised to discover there are highly organized adult associations not only for dodgeball and kickball, but also softball, baseball, volleyball and hockey, among others.

This is like listening to your old Uncle Sam who would reminisce on the days of yore about how us whippersnappers now get to watch these fancy moving type pictures. You know, they remember the days when people would just get by listening to "The Life of Riley" on the radio and like it dag nab it! Licorice whips were only a penny and you could keep yer doors open and yer windows open too. There were never any problems back then, NO ssiiirrr. Nowadays it's all "adulterated".

They listen to the Elvis, he's got some evil hips, he does.

Of course, as adults many of us have lives where we have to go to work and make a living. Or take care of kids. Some of us like to have fun too, and in that vein we search for some sort of organized leagues to play in. I don't have a network of 30 or so people I can get together with for a pickup game in the cow field for us to play kickball. Or at least I didn't until I joined kickball.

As with many things for these older people, Uncle Sam fails to see that times have changed. People don't get out and talk to their neighbors after a day's work at the office while the wife was at home cleaning and cooking. Now everyone works, a lot. Yet we are still social creatures who require interaction. So we join kickball leagues or book clubs or bowling teams to meet people. It's all setup for us so we just have to show up, play, and talk to people. We do it for fun. We don't want to play kick the can, and it's not meant for kids. So what's the problem?

In Uncle Sam's world, it'll always be Leave it To Beaver

The evil idea of sponsorships (gasp) from horrible corporate entities is addressed in this ode de the past as well. Uncle Sammy is horrified at the "...$50,000 rock-paper-scissors tournament in Las Vegas last April, complete with sponsorship from Bud Light beer and broadcast rights by the A&E Network? Lord, give us strength." Yes Uncle Sam, the world has changed, people can get sponsorships for things to help make games and fun events worth some money. Does this make the game less fun or innocent? Not for me. In fact in some leagues, not WAKA of course, these sponsorships actually help lower costs for the players. But I know that the Flower Power kids would never want to hear that (though they will sell you an original purse of their's for just $45.99) because they are above such things.

On sale from the people who shun material things and profits

The lawsuit does get mentioned and is a valid point, but everyone knows it's frivolous and will be thrown out. Uncle Sam ends his rant by stating that, "If Ponce de Leon were back amongst us, he wouldn't waste time searching for the Fountain of Youth. Instead, he'd climb into his local sports club's official uniform and compete against other geezers in official tournaments, complete with official rules, official travel headquarters and official prize money." Except we're not geezers, and we're not looking for the Fountain of Youth. We're just people who like to have fun. I thought that's what the baby boomers were all about, you know, free love and do whatever you want, man.

It seems odd that Uncle Sam would pick on kickball players. Maybe he just wishes he was young again and is jealous. More likely he just likes to whine. Somebody go buy him some rock candy from the corner store, will ya? He's about to tell us about that time he had to walk to school barefoot in 8 feet of snow uphill, both ways. Then he has to take his nap.

Why, back in my day we didn't have any fancy "email". You sent everything on a pony and it took a week to get a letter across town and by golly we liked it!