Kickball gets political

I know it's the political season and as we wind down here to the last three weeks the hyperbole will be ratcheted up to sites unseen. I'm about ready to hear that George Allen had sex with a deer before cutting off its head and putting it on top of a cross which he burned on a black family's property when he was 10 1/2. Or that Michael Steele secretly does hate puppies and actually the one in that ad was a cat dressed as a puppy. I'm used to that. But I really don't need it in kickball.

Closet puppy hater?

Last week several of my friends emailed me immediately upon getting an email from the founder of DC Kickball. I'll spare you the details, all of which can basically be seen here anyway, and get to the part that was... a bit much to me. This picture was at the top of the email:

Ok, I get the David v Goliath aspect of the Kash Guys suing DC Kickball and as I have stated, I am rooting for the guy - but COME ON! Dude, you're fighting for kickball freedom not the right to live in a free society. 5,000 people are not going to be slaughtered if you lose your case. And by the way, I don't think that kid was advertising for the Chi-Comms while he was standing there, as you have done for WAKA on your website. Plus, he was fighting for something completely different than Communism, you're just fighting to be WAKA Jr. It's just a tad over the top.

So this is followed up by a piece written by a former DC Kickballer on DCist that basically seeks to remind people that the case is still going on. However, the author uses some rather interesting analogies:

We're miffed that WAKA would really push this lawsuit. After all, the rules of kickball aren't any more proprietary than are the rules of Paper, Rock, Scissors. Moreover, Rabasa may have called WAKA "the Microsoft of kickball," but doesn't this lawsuit somewhat expose the fact that that's what they are? And though WAKA could probably stand to lose a few players, we've heard rumors that plenty of teams defected to DCKickball once the lawsuit became public. That seems to make sense -- after all, kickball has always tried to present itself as a fun, carefree alternative to organized sports.

Should this actually go to trial and reach the stage where it would merit a judgment, we're guessing it'll go down in American legal history alongside the hot-spilled-coffee lawsuit and the I-had-no-idea-eating-50-Big-Macs-a-day-would-be-bad-for-me lawsuit.

Ok I want to take this part by part. First, "Rabasa may have called WAKA "the Microsoft of kickball," but doesn't this lawsuit somewhat expose the fact that that's what they are?" Umm, no. Hi, Sun sued Microsoft because they accused Microsoft of forcing people to use their browser, Microsoft didn't sue anyone. Also, I'd like to state for the record that Microsoft is a kickass company that has made many people's lives easier. Plus, the guy who founded it has given billions away. I wish someone would compare the place I work to that. Bad analogy one.

Next, "Should this actually go to trial and reach the stage where it would merit a judgment, we're guessing it'll go down in American legal history alongside the hot-spilled-coffee lawsuit ..." Uhh, again, this was a woman suing a big company not the other way around. And by the way, she won that case so if the point is that the lawsuit was bogus, this doesn't work (I know the amount was lowered on appeal, but she did win). Bad analogy two.

Hot and a bad analogy

Then, "...and the I-had-no-idea-eating-50-Big-Macs-a-day-would-be-bad-for-me lawsuit." To my knowledge there is no such lawsuit, but even if there was, this is again a person suing the big guy - not the other way around. Bad analogy three.

My point is this: I think the DC Kickball founder is trying too hard. Hi, we are on your side, stop being a shmuck. Everyone knows the Kash guys want to shut you down because they fear competition. Everyone knows the lawsuit is frivolous. People would be happy to help you; just stop advertising for the people suing you.

And for Pete's sake don't make it like you're the last beacon of freedom in the world and thousands will die if you lose. It's a kickball lawsuit about money. Life will go on. Leave that crap to the politicians.